Jun
The Nacho
by Mark in word-salad
Life is difficult. Especially when you perceive it as being alone. It calls into question what you feel, how you act and your definition of who you are. We define ourselves through those we surround ourselves with. I am no longer in a group anymore. I live on my own and it’s scary… sort of. I just don’t know what i want or how i want to live. It’s all brand new. Which is filled with limitless opportunity.
I’ve been bonding with my dog recently, he’s pretty amazing but it’s quite the switch. Samantha bought him for me at a time where i would have done anything for her. Including getting a dog. She loved (her dog) Ruca so much she just assumed I would love one too because it enriched her life. I was satisfied to be living alone and not really caring if i had a dog, in fact if i am to be honest I pretty much ignored him. I never understood being responsible for something that wasn’t me I’ve always co-existed with my animals. Sure I’d feed them, and pet them, but they took care of themselves for the most part. I’ve always viewed relationships as temporary and on their own terms whether animal vegetable or mineral. Now. this is no longer the case. I share a single apartment with a dog that is scared and confused. There’s nobody there to keep him company but me. I now worry about his well being, I walk him several times a day. In a world I feel further disassociated with every day I now have an anchor. I started caring initially because i had to. There was no one else to do so. Now it’s because i want to. Something inside me has changed for the better.
I’ve had a hard time as of late to find something to care about, it turns out a woman that split my world in two has given me an additional lasting gift besides the knowledge that love beyond measurement exists. You’re never Alone, sometimes it just feels that way.
Nacho
“You’re hidden right out in the open – that is, you would be only if you realized it.”
-Ralph Ellison
Jun
Tiny Toons on Bender
by Mark in word-salad
Awesome. This is what the internet is for. Apparently there was a Tiny Toons episode that was banned in the mid 90’s. It was based off of the evils of alcohol, watch it all and wonder wow if i saw this as a kid I would have definitely stolen a police car. Enjoy!
More to come… Sooon
May
I love the Japanese
by Mark in Games, web-culture
Those wacky wacky bastards. I smell another katamari damacy.
May
Mr Grumbles
by Mark in web-culture, word-salad
May
Old Negro Space Program
by Mark in word-salad
Today I’d like to talk about a topic very close to my heart. In 1957 N.A.S.S.A. The all black space program was founded and lost in the pages of history. I’d like to help by correcting this egregious error by bringing the truth finally to light. Ladies and gentlemen I introduce to you a documentary on Negro American Space Society of Astronauts.
See you Blackstronauts.
“But Shit woman. It is cold as fuck up here” – Sullivan Karu
May
No Cancer Day!
by Mark in word-salad
In honor of me visiting the doctor for the first time in 2 years and not having “the cancer” i bring you. IMAGE DUMP!
not to bring religion into it.
Being this evil never felt so warm and fuzzy
Even Philanthropists can be douches
Springtime for Hitler in Germany
it's all a matter of perspective.
Self explanatory
See you next time.
May
Profound at least to me
by Mark in embarrasingly honest
I’m going to take a moment and tell you something about myself that is incredibly personal and might be a bit too much to share, but when it comes to writing down my feelings i tend to reveal more than what people are traditionally comfortable with. I rarely speak openly about my life, and people rarely question me about it. Externally I am almost pathologically happy and optimistic. Everything is a joke. There is a reason for this. Several years ago I was confronted with the horrors of the real world during an incredibly forumulative time in my life. Faced with the realization of how little control we have over our own lives and how impassive the universe is, I was left with no other choice but to just give up. It was the most freeing moment in my life granting me a clarity that i can only describe as fundamentally transforming.
As a result life has taken a less serious tone, for a time it was impossible for me to care about anything. My left arm had no feeling in it for close to a year. I was in intense pain for even longer than that. These experiences pre-self discovery would have broken me into a husk of a boy. Armed with the knowledge that it didn’t matter, I was able to live through it laughing most of the way. I wasn’t dead and neither was someone I cared deeply for. My universe was intact. I had the power to do something good to change the life of one person when the universe did nothing I chose to do something.
Where am I going with this?
It’s two three years later and I’m re-learning things I had forgotten in the six month amnesia. I’ve felt sorry for myself as of late. I found two growths that i believe to be mildly serious and could possibly be Cancer. Last Thursday got broken up with in a heart wrenching manner to a woman I once loved more than i thought possible. I’ve once again reached a point of my life where I am forced out of my shell I use to amaze and confuse onlookers. I reflect on the things I’ve come to accept as truths and look at the world for the inexplicable marvel it is. Chances are I’m not dying of the cancer, but moments like these provide clarity. It could all be gone tomorrow so appreciate what you have now. In my opinion the bad experiences in any life are more important than the good. They define who you are and force you to learn the hard lessons, character defining moments that force brutally honest introspection.
Good night and Good luck.
“Finally, faced with horrors both intolerable and unavoidable, I choose madness.” – Alan Moore
“God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” -Voltaire
May
Lord of The Rings: Hunt for Gollum
by Mark in word-salad
For a fan film I’m duly impressed. I remember a time *dragonheart* where special effects were obtuse and extremely expensive. I’m awestruck of what is possible for those who have an unparalleled clarity of vision and a clear goal of what they want. Something as simple as a stop motion can be a powerful narrative just by doing something unexpected.
The Internet is the new Renaissance. With all these walls down why is it that so many of us are afraid of being creative, to add to the stream. Rather, we sit back and observe.
I think it’s about time I started a tribe.
May
It begins
by Mark in word-salad
I’ve been away for a while. Now i’m back. I feel once again I have something to write about. Maybe this time having 40k people reading my blog daily won’t send me running to the hills. Hello Internet.
No pressure.
So in lieu of making this a linkdump as it has been in the past. I’m thinking about just publishing what, and when it makes sense to do so. Now with blogs being as findable as they are, I will try to avoid pissing people off. Or in disturbing the weaker stomachs in the audience. I will not however, pull punches. I speak my mind every day and the internet will be no different. So come back tomorrow night and tag a long on this long strange journey through the rough neighborhoods, the dark corners and the general ridiculous of life, the internet, and everything. This time I might have something interesting for you.
- Fostertron -